I realise what all transpired between us, the story of ambition, and the story of a fragmented society we live in, yet more than what came between us was, whatever…! I wish I could tell you how I love you!
I never attached any meaning to the term ‘love’ before I met you, nor after you were gone. Yet, ever since you happened, I lived it for you, no matter where I was, what I was doing. Every second of my life was a purpose that meant growing old with you, like a fairy tale. Why? I know not!
I lived every minute for you, in the anticipated joy of uniting my soul with you yet again forever, despite all your flaws and shortcomings, I still wanted to sip a coffee with you!
After all the lies, you told me, I still had the courage to share a life with you.
Anger, ambition and passion, why is it not a feature of a man trying to make a buck in life?
Yet we all evolve with time, I forgot this, and tried clinging to all the memories I had with you. I never told you, how I had to dodge the thoughts of you for my ambition. I couldn’t tell you, how I hated the fact that despite being anything, I was honest to ‘our cause’, that was something only I shared with myself.
I always had the fear of sharing our love story, and blaming it on the things that don’t matter, but I know what was there in your mind all the time.
It is my fault that I allowed you to harbour it, and give you whatever you asked for. That’s exactly what a gentleman does.
Yet, I say I know what love is, I didn’t abuse it, I lived it, like a man, and had the guts to endure all the struggles, except compromising on my dignity.
I don’t want my love story, to become a fable, yet, I know how lived locked with my loneliness and your thoughts. How I built everything for your desires all with my sweat, assuming that you were an honest woman.
But then, I realised something, beyond the realm of this worldly love there is another love, “Love Divine”, it makes me human, and more compassionate towards everyone else.
Yeah, I love you, because I evolved and you still are the same worldly creature you used to be, and then you acquired my traits. Hmm, good for you, but you didn’t grasp the essence of my life.
So, I wish I could tell you how I love you for making me meet the love of my life. Thank you.
But here I tell you how much I love you: Na, I don’t love you for the filth of a human being you are, your psychological furniture is dirty, dilapidated, and injurious to well being of other men you will encounter on your youthful journey to your grave. And, I never harbour a single thought of guilt for kicking you out of my life. Because, we need good human beings to be one ourselves, thank goodness, I tried to help you evolve like a human being and suppress your lower nature to be a better person. That was my love for you.
And, if you are alive, God bless you, and if you are dead, RIP. “My shit cares”.
As far as the love I have showered on your family, they would have tasted what the water of the Holy Ganges tastes like, for messing with a righteous person on a journey to salvation. 🙂
God bless you. 🙂